Poetry by Jeff Green


An Unexpected Outcome

by cricketjeff on January 23, 2012.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

A misguided middle-aged man
Conceived of a ludicrous plan
He’d go undercover
As England’s great lover
The girls called him Desperate Dan

A toupee is seen at its best
When merging with all of the rest
But Dan’s was an old one
A rich reddish gold one
His hair was as grey as his vest

To set any girl’s heart a flutter
Your voice must be smoother than butter
Not peppered with swear words
And from-who-knows-where words
Combined with a harsh nervous stutter

Some lovers are tall dark and toned
Their faces are handsomely boned
But Dan’s short and rounded
His rear-end unbounded
All thoughts of a waistline disowned

Still Nel needed someone to mother
Once she’d married off her last brother
When Dan tried to woo her
She reckoned he’d do her
And they’re now wrapped up in each other

Though neither had featured in dreams
True love is as good as it seems
When they turned the lights out
Their neighbours on nights out
Were deafened by ecstatic screams!

Author notes

Well …

The Nels and Dans of this world deserve happy endings!