Poetry by Jeff Green


Writer’s block

by cricketjeff on September 14, 2007.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

A poet who rhymes on AP
Wanted poems to fill him with glee
So a contest he made
And limericks he bade
And one of the entrants was me

I couldn’t think what I should write
When I entered this contest tonight
So that’s what I said
And then thought of bed
But my entry so far wasn’t right

It needed a punchline I feel
Something poignant but utterly real
A tag-line I mean
Something simple and clean
So the trophy I’d know I could steal

But good zippy poems take some time
And not sleeping at night is a crime
I tore out my hair
Gave up in despair
I simply cannot finish this rhyme

It’s bugging my braincells no end
That the verses won’t stop at the end
It’s so over the top
And it simply won’t stop
That I may have to shoot it my friend

And added to that you want slutty
Perhaps a lady with morals like putty
Who’ll sit in one verse
And blaspheme and curse
With a punchline that’s awfully smutty

So I’ve come here to tell you that I
Cannot enter the contest and why
It’s not that your wrong
To ask for this song
It just that my talent’s gone shy!

Author notes

OK you asked for limericks limericks limericks, I didn’t stop at 3 though. You wanted absurd, this is. Slutty well a bit dubious there. Funny, that’s up to you say. Have fun!