Poetry by Jeff Green


The truth about men (And women!!!)

by cricketjeff on April 11, 2008.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

It’s seven in the morning and the room is looking bare
My head is busy thumping and there’s something in the air
You left me with a warning and I know I should prepare
But I really don’t know how I got this way

I haven’t any eyebrows, and there’s somewhere else I itch
I’d like to face the morning but I haven’t got a stitch
A label round my neck just says “Congratulations Mitch”
This isn’t how I planned my wedding day

Four empty vodka bottles and the slippers that she wore
The men at work had paid her and I’m feeling rather sore
I tried to do thinks properly but she just wanted more
And it seemed that I just didn’t have a say

I’d try to ring for service but my hands are rather tied
I would run to find a taxi but I’d really rather hide
I mustn’t miss the wedding or you’ll see that I get fried
Is this really quite the way for friends to play

A crash, the door flies open, and the best man wears a grin
His camera busy flashing as he takes my status in
Pretends he doesn’t notice where the vodka bottle’s in
I hope that he has come to save the day

I still have on pink slippers (they have glued them to my feet)
But the rest of the conversion, on the outside, looks complete
I wonder what the tattoo says that’s now upon my seat
I know that you will read it late today

Make-up does for eyebrows and John’s shoes are big enough
Cutting off the plaster cast was really rather tough
The summer shave for bathing’s left me feeling very rough
But at least I made the church this wedding day

And now the deed is over and we both said “yes I do”
We’re alone in motel bedroom and I’m scared to talk to you
But you giggle and you show me you got shaved and tattooed too!
It isn’t only men who act this way!!!

Author notes

probably too long