Poetry by Jeff Green


What women want

by cricketjeff on February 10, 2008.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

All of the women that I chance to meet
Say they want a man who is clever and sweet
A good sense of humour, nice manners, polite
Kindness to animals and with her each night.

It is a surprise, when I see in the street
A girl with her man she would like me to meet.
A good education is not what he claims.
Nice house and family aren’t his life’s aims.

He’s no conversationalist, grunts when he speaks
Not opened a book in seven months and three weeks
He’s no sense of humour, finds breaking wind funny
No scrupples at all about spending her money.

On all of their dates she will drive, so he thinks
Avoiding advice to just “watch what he drinks”
Each weekend there’s football, then drinks with a mate
He won’t keep his arrangements, he may just be late.

But he will be quite rugged, and dark haired and tall
And he won’t look nerdy or studious at all
He’ll shave at least weekly and have quite good teeth
She’ll tell me he’s sensitive “far underneath”

But it’s no use complaining, we men are as bad
We’re not looking for “mum” so we can play “dad”
Not swayed by good manners or breeding or class
We only consider the shape of her A***”

Author notes

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