Poetry by Jeff Green

1803–An_economical_assessment_of_Britain_today.html

An economical assessment of Britain today

by cricketjeff on February 21, 2009.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

You need quantitative easing just to combat fiscal squeezing
When your interest rates are lower than the floor
You won’t find a lot of thankers if you trust it all to bankers
Who will only spend it all and ask for more

Now your growth rates cannot dazzle with exchange rates on the frazzle
And there isn’t any chance to turn them round
So if confidence is waning and the credit lanes are straining
Don’t be tied to those whose fate is downward bound

Please don’t think that you can phone us for the cash to pay a bonus
For a man who lost the lot and wore a smile
‘Cause we know he cannot park it in this most unfriendly market
He will have to live on earnings for a while!

You may find that we are snarling for the head of dear old Darling
Though if truth be told it’s more to do with Brown
For he boasted and he fussed that he’d ended boom and bust
But the markets still keep bouncing up and down

They will borrow till we’re screaming although this is in their scheming
That the bill won’t land until their cause is lost
So you know that they will fiddle for an answer to the riddle
For it’s only us poor voters bear the cost

Never mind that all is ruin for they know what they are doin’
They’ve a very solid pension guarantee
For it doesn’t seem to matter that while madder than a hatter
Gordon Brown stole pension cash from you and me

So just carry on your groaning at the way the banks are moaning
That they hedged it all with billionaires abroad
Now it turns out (oh how shocking!) they are reeling and they’re rocking
Didn’t know that “cash for free” must be a fraud!!!

Author notes

Alastair Darling is the British Chancellor of the Exchequer (finance minister) following on from Gordon Brown now our Prime Minister but had Darling’s job under Tony Blair. He famously claimed that he had ended “boom and bust” and was now going to save the World. He also funded his first dose of overspending by double taxing private sector pensions.

I’m sure most of you can guess at the names of the foreign billionaires our oh so careful bankers invested in …