Poetry by Jeff Green

1926–An_odd_job.html

An odd job …

by cricketjeff on April 8, 2009.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

There’s a rather odd-shaped building off the edge of Hanger Lane
Where the audience is measured every day
We assess what Britain’s watching in a way I shall explain
So the advertisers know what they should pay

We have meters near the tellies of a lot of normal folk
That can listen to the sounds of all they see
Then we match that strange recording to the words the speaker spoke
And we’ll know what they were watching on TV

There are men in Auchtermuchty and in Preston-over-Sands
And in villages and town around the place
Who have never seen Eastenders and like working with their hands
And they think late night football’s a disgrace

There’s a family from Fulham who watch dancing every night
And a loner in Lancaster who does too
There are children who watch Spongebob and appear to like the sight
Of a character who’s just as square as you

Now we add up all the numbers and we publish a report
Of the sort of things we watch when we’ve the choice
There’s Big Brother the Apprentice there’s an awful lot of sport
And Bob Preston with his most annoying voice

And in other sovereign nations spread around the World at large
We are doing much the same for their TV
We must measure all the figures for the men who are in charge
Then they’ll make more shows you never want to see!

Author notes

Well, that is sort of what the company I work for does anyway …

Actually my occupation is a sys-admin, I maintain monitoring systems around the world, but the company’s occupation, my bit of the company, is as above