Poetry by Jeff Green


The Economic Crisis in Umbleania by the Sea

by cricketjeff on May 26, 2009.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

In Umbleania by the Sea
They use the strangest currency,
Instead of coins they use the seeds
Of hippo-eating, purple, weeds.
These seeds, called oops, are five feet tall
And hardly ever seen at all.

Since oops are rare the country’s poor,
The King set out to find some more.
The Army searched along the beach,
Where nothing grew within their reach.
The airforce scanned the mountaintops,
Which aren’t renowned for heavy crops.

The navy used a submarine
But only found a dolphin bean
(They’re long and red and very strange
But only used as pocket change).
So poverty just grew and grew
They needed to do something new.

The King, so wise (his name is Bob),
Decided he could do the job.
He set out in a new decree
A change to local currency;
The oop is out, it’s been replaced
By something much less hippo based.

In Umbleania by the Sea
They use the strangest currency;
Instead of oops they use the toes
Of fire breathing bongaloes,
But bongaloes all live elsewhere
And don’t have toes they want to share!

Author notes

Um, yes well, you think the economy in other countries is any more sane?

BTW if any of you has a photo of a “hippo-eating, purple weed”, an oop or a bongalo I would be very happy to add it as an illustration …

For those who have never visited this beautiful country, on the borders of Tasmania, Angola and Spain, its name is pronounced Umble-ania the first half rhyming with humble, the second with the ania of Romania. It is a low-lying, landlocked, mountainous country, with an extensive coastline. It is ruled by King Bob XXXXIV.

The bongalo is now rather rare, it is a gangly creature resembling a cross between a two legged bungalow and a banjo, but slightly taller; it has fifteen toes.
The Umbleanian hippo tastes rather like chicken.

For more news from Umbleania try here