Poetry by Jeff Green

2153–Formula_One_no,_two,_no,_three,_no_Formula_fourteen.html

Formula One no, two, no, three, no Formula fourteen!

by cricketjeff on July 5, 2009.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

In Umbleania by the Sea
They thought they’d stage their own Grand Prix
The fastest cars in all the land
Would race each other on the sand
And well before the crowds arrive
The drivers would all learn to drive

The course was laid, there on the beach
The King prepared a welcome speech
Three TV crews had set up shop
To see if it would be a flop
Since Umbleania has no road
The crowd arrived by wagon-load

In pride of place, and on the pole
Was King Bob’s “friend” the fair Nicole
Her car was fast well not too slow
Will let us say it may just go
In second place a horse and cart
At least that’s pretty sure to start

Then Johnny Pool on his new bike
And next to him his best friend Mike
The flags are raised and they are off
In such a cloud you have to cough
Nicole has stalled the horse sits down
And Johnny wears a tearful frown

But soon enough the race is on
The crowd are cheering loud for John
The first lap done they start lap two
The racers in a speeding queue
The forecast warns a passing shower
Will slow them to ten miles an hour

The final lap it’s very close
Of tension there is such a dose
At first there’s Mike and then the horse
Nicole is challenging of course
Then Johnny wins the first Grand Prix
In Umbleania by the Sea

Author notes

Umbleania, for those few who do not know it well, is a very hilly kingdom, (maximum elevation 8 feet) between South Carolina and Saudi Arabia, sharing a short border with New Zealand. There are regular flights from Heathrow airport, but non of them go to Umbleania.