Poetry by Jeff Green


The Which Witch Tests

by cricketjeff on November 2, 2009.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

Her skirt was sucked off by the Hoover
As she tried the parking manoeuvre
Examining witches
Were falling in stitches
So felt that they ought to approve ‘er

Her sister a witch from Jamaica
At potions was clearly no faker
Said she was “So slick wid
Each magical liquid”
That no-one would e’er overtake ‘er

Her panties were tatty and purple
Exposed when her mount broke its curpel
They show that this fairy
Was horribly hairy
So she booked a hot waxy fur pull

One test that they set in the booth
To conjure a suit that would soothe
The first would have vexed yer
Its terrible texture
Was rather more hair-shirt than smooth

The prize for the best is a jacket
And only the cream will attack it
It’s purple and orange
And ordered from Gorringe
The only top shop that could hack-it

When all the exams were well over
They partied from Glasgow to Dover
The terrible music
Would make even you sick
So don’t think they’re sitting in clover!

Author notes

The prompt was to write a poem in consistent meter using at least six of these words in rhyming positions

texture manoeuvre
solitude anxious
element chaos
purple orange
siren rhythm
music soothe
liquid zigzag
comedy tragedy
rosary résumé
diamond galaxy

Having chosen to write a chain of Limericks I was slightly limited in which words I could pick and stick to the meter but I’ve fitted the underlined seven in. In my (North London) accent all should be perfect rhymes.