Poetry by Jeff Green

2535–Schadenfreude.html

Schadenfreude

by cricketjeff on January 11, 2010.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

I try not to be a bastard but a dose of schadenfreude
May be somewhat therapeutic if your addled and annoyed

I saw a lady moaning at a colleague’s shabby dress
Then she slipped up at lunchtime, and sat down in poodle mess
A letter on poor English couldn’t spell the paper’s name
I’ve no doubt the letter’s writer thinks her teacher is to blame

I’m not a fan of football but for silly shits and grins
I’d love to go to Chelsea when the opposition wins

A very foolish bowler hit big Devon on the head
The nicest man in cricket left their batting side for dead
A show-off in a Porsche passed at ninety miles an hour
But we caught him ten miles later broken down and out of power

I’m not a nasty person but some people make me sick
An ego like a mountain’s a balloon I have to prick

At the funfair he was laughing as his brother threw five darts
And he only stuck the first two in the winning Queen of hearts
But his laughter was soon ended when we watchers had our wish
He threw twenty hoola hoops and didn’t win a single fish

No fan of modern artists almost laughed until I died
When the RA gave a medal to a painting on its side!

It was summer down in Brighton that my friends and I rejoiced
When a show-off on a pushbike ended sore and squeaky voiced
He was scattering sunbathers as he rode across the beach
But a crossbar when it’s bumpy has a lesson it can teach!

I try not to be a bastard but a dose of schadenfreude
May be somewhat therapeutic if your addled and annoyed

Author notes

And yes I know I am cheating pronouncing schardenfreude without the final soft syllable, but I’m a Londoner and I drop the endings of words left and right