Poetry by Jeff Green

278–Ebayers_Song.html

Ebayer’s Song

by cricketjeff on November 26, 2007.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

If you shop on ebay, you may find a treat
A present for a lady, who looks at you so sweet
Don’t ask where it came from, or if the tax was paid
But remember to leave feedback, this way a bargain’s made
Jewellery for a lady, gadgets for a guy
So just sign in to Paypal
While a lot of tat you buy
Clearing out the attic you may chance to find
Little boxes tied with string, long put out of mind
Don’t you tell your Ma in law or show them to your wife
Find the online auction site, and help to fund your life!
If you see a stack of toys, lying on a shelf
If no kids are using them, just take them for yourself
If you’ve got a hairdryer, but haven’t got much hair
Then join an online site, and raise a little spare
If the Inland revenue send you round a note
You be careful what you say, and URLs you quote
If they mention rebate if you just fill out this form
Don’t you tell them what you’ve sold, or mention it was warm!
Loads of rubbish round the house, sell the ruddy lot
Sell everything that you can find, everything you’ve got
As well as selling you can buy, so you’ve more things to sell
Everybody everywhere will soon be doing well
If you do as I advise, likely you will win
An auction for a wedding dress, for someone much too thin
And a copper fondue set, with a burner made of brass
A bargain from an Ebayer, who hasn’t got much class
Jewellery for a lady, gadgets for a guy
So just sign in to Paypal
While a lot of tat you buy
Clearing out the attic you may chance to find
Little boxes tied with string, long put out of mind
Don’t you tell your Ma in law or show them to your wife
Find the online auction site, and help to fund your life!

Author notes

I didn’t intend to start off writing a parody, but I was getting myself into a Kipling frame of mind.

I may withdraw this an enter a Kipling “style” one later.