by cricketjeff on May 9, 2011. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
And hope being me is enough.
I’ve never been too interminglish,
I don’t understand foreign stuff.
A waistcoat and tie are essential —
Although others think they look hot,
Maintaining my due differential
‘s the only advantage I’ve got,
I try to eat food that’s not spicey,
It’s boringly plain I agree,
But anything else can be dicey,
And traveller’s tum’s not for me.
In Rome I don’t act like a Roman,
I don’t charge at bulls when in Spain,
In deserts it’s still an ill omen
To go out unready for rain.
So if I’m around you will know me,
The chap who’s untanned as a ghost,
I’ll gaze at the wonders you show me —
While pining for biscuits and toast.
I’ll sample your wines and your juices,
Then back to my hotel for tea,
I’ve never found travel reduces
My foolish desire to stay me!
Sadly it’s mostly true!