Poetry by Jeff Green


On the phone to the bank

by cricketjeff on December 15, 2007.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved

On the phone and I am waiting
Are you calling “Singles Dating”?
Bloody Bank has me on hold
Metaphorically in the cold

In the queue, position line
Bet they’re on a phone sex line
I just want to check a bill
But I’m sitting waiting still

In the queue position seven
Vivaldi’s glad that he’s in heaven
He have to die, amongst the reasons
Murder of his “The four seasons”

In the queue position five
Maybe they are still alive!
In the streets of far Mumbai
Call centre staff just please reply!

In the queue position four
In physical terms I’m near the door
All this is a waste of time
On the phone and scrawling rhyme

Position four, damn that’s not moved
Are all these “people” cloven hooved?
It really isn’t much to ask
That someone there could do this task

In the queue position two!
Blimey there’s an end in view
If I get to ask for aid
I wonder how much they are paid…

******’s Bank apologise
The fact you’ve called is a surprise
We do not have the staff to cope
You’ll hang yourself? Here use this rope!

My names Melanie (lying tart!)
I’m here to help, where shall we start
I cannot tell if that’s been paid
The screen are dead hear I’m afraid

Now cut off and screaming mad
Are all banks this bloody bad?
Next time I won’t be so polite
I’ll firebomb a branch tonight!

Author notes

To be strictly honest this isn’t notebook poetry, I just wrote it as though it were.

Nearly all my verse would fit your description though, it is very satisfying to be sitting on a crowded commuter train writing erotic rhymes!