An Odd Affair
by cricketjeff on July 22, 2011. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
If an ox from Auchtermuchty met a moose in Timbuctoo,
It could not be any stranger than the day that I met you.
There were ostriches and emus dancing polkas in the park,
There were sulphur-chested sunbirds chasing shadows after dark,
As the moon began eclipsing and the stars made night of day –
You approached me eating ice-cream and the world was burnt away.
If the King of Cotopaxi met a yeti in Nepal,
He could not be more dumbfounded than the day I took your call.
I could hear hyenas laughing as your words caressed my ears
And the song of seven sky larks soon reduced your voice to tears,
But before you started blubbing and you wept an inland sea,
You made me a happy chappy when you said that you loved me.
Now all owls in Oswaldtwistle give a hoot to hear the news.
While alpacas and vicunas weave their wool and watch reviews,
They’re agog and tired of waiting for the telling of this tale,
With a wave of expectation more enormous than a whale
But I haven’t got an answer, I’m afraid I only know
That like cockatoos love cocktails I’m condemned to love you so.
Author notes
Sometimes a silly phrase forms and refuses to go away, then it gets on the
phone to its friends and a rally of silly phrases happens in my head, then they
leak into my fingers and type themselves onto AP.
I can only apologise and plead insanity.
English