Heading Home
by cricketjeff on September 20, 2009. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
The service that I pay for says the roads ahead are clear;
My eyes, which came for free, say they are not.
And the Sat Nav that’s so clever says that home is getting near,
A little common sense says that’s all rot!
Everybody thought today would be a perfect day it seems
To go boating, visit Granny or just set out after dreams.
The cars are moving slowly like a crocodile in pain
And tempers all around are getting short.
So we sing some silly songs we know that help relieve the strain
And shoot road-signs with a laser pen for sport.
Everybody in the country went down West to spend the day,
Then en masse the British Public chose right now to get away.
Is he drunk or merely foolish maybe chatting on the phone
As he zigs and zags across more than one lane.
On the other side a zombie clearly settled in the zone
Thinks that driving in his sleep will bring more gain.
Everybody would go faster if they didn’t dodge about
Swapping lanes and over-revving only makes more people shout.
There are roadworks, a misnomer, and an accident or three
And police and fire engine “blues and twos”.
Some just sit and fume in silence, others dodge about to see
But the radio won’t give us any news.
Just a hundred miles of torture then the tide of traffic parts
And we’re home and drinking tea before the cricket highlights starts!
Author notes
A lovely day visiting my son by the seaside not quite spoiled by the traffic on
the way home
English