I’d like to, but…

by cricketjeff on August 23, 2007. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
I’d really like to wed you
But there are problems that I see
First of all there are our ages,
You see I’m nearly ninety three
Next thing that could just stop us
Or at least just make you pause
Is my wife would not be happy
It won’t get her warm applause
There there is the problem
That I’m busy on that day
I’ll be at another wedding
Unless my fiancee runs away
Then it seems that natures laws
Mean we shouldn’t wed
I’m really not a human
I’m from the planet Fred
And here’s another problem
If I really had to pick
I’d run off with you mother
To marry her quite quick
The board of health aren’t happy
That my TB’s eradicated
Until it is the space round me
Must be evacuated
And the final reason we won’t wed
The rest is all just hype
I won’t agree to marry you
You simply aren’t my type!

Author notes
4) “seven reasons to turn down a marriage proposal”
But you could have guessed that!