Mind the gap between the train and the platform!
by cricketjeff on September 10, 2009. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
I’m sitting on the train beside a man who’s on the phone
And he’s shouting at a friend who cannot hear.
Just opposite a teenager, her assets clearly shown
In a t-shirt that is very nearly clear.
Announcements give a warning that I must avoid the gap,
You’d think that it was wider than an alligator trap.
Two men discuss the footy, they are pleased that England won;
The cricket though fills both of them with pain.
Two schoolkids with a yummy Mum are having lots of fun,
By swinging like bonobos down the train.
Announcements that are far too loud tell us the station’s name
And then repeats the warning, every time it’s just the same.
It’s Wembley so a lot alight, the noisy man still shouts;
While next to him a girl’s lost in her book.
A suited man sudokus and erases all his doubts,
I’ve finished mine he’s trying not to look.
The gap again! That woman’s voice would drive a saint to drink;
It seems that London Underground assume we cannot think.
A group of boys in football boots, they don’t look like a team;
A woman who’s the size of half a house.
Long legs are wearing hot-pants, they’re a homebound worker’s dream;
A mobile phone then gives a burst of Strauss.
That bloody woman’s off again “We all know where we are!”
The way she fusses makes me wish I went to work by car!
The final stop, she tells us that “the train will terminate”,
We stand so we can quickly rush away.
The doors are automatic so we simply have to wait,
That damned announcement still has things to say:-
“Take all possessions with you when you get out from this train”
And then she calmly warns us we should “Mind the Gap” again!!!
English