Mothers-in-law
by cricketjeff on May 26, 2010. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
She’s complaining that it’s raining
And she doesn’t have a hat
Then she’s moaning and she’s groaning
That her bottom’s getting fat
He is fussing over bussing
Sam and Jilly off to school
There’s no riot each stand quiet
Not the day to act the fool
Their red setter knows far better
Than to choose this moment to
Say he’s needing extra feeding
And there’s “something” he must do
No-one mentions all the tensions
It has always been this way
She ain’t happy, almost snappy
When his mother comes to stay!
Little Jilly thinks they’re silly
But she keeps it to herself
As for Sam, he loves his Grammy
She brings models for his shelf
As for Dad he’s really glad he
Isn’t there from eight to six
Busy working while fate’s lurking
And preparing little tricks
But for mother there’s no other
Thoughts that enter in her head
But to worry and to scurry
And to wish that she was dead
No-one mentions all the tensions
It has always been this way
She ain’t happy, almost snappy
When his mother comes to stay!
Get the broom out sweep each room out
Hoover up the smallest speck
Is it dusty? Stale and musty?
Mother’s now a nervous wreck
Doorbell’s ringing hands still wringing
Surely now it’s good enough
Start deep breathing, false smile wreathing
Next five minutes will be tough
All the fretting means forgetting
They don’t really need to try
No-one’s sweeter when you meet her
Ma-in-law is nice as pie!!!
Author notes
I HAVE to point out that this is 100% NOT from personal experience
English