Oh what the hell!!!

Oh what the hell!!!
by cricketjeff on June 29, 2009.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
A girl I used to know was called Susanna
She was born a while ago in Indiana
Where her mother was a cook her dad a tanner
Took a college course and learned to be a planner
Preferred to spend her time behind a spanner
Mending strings and other parts of her “pianer”
That was bought before the war by her old Nanna
From a sale that wasn’t run in proper manner
On the outskirts of the city of Savannah

When I went to visit her with cousin Peter
Who was working for a superstore as greeter
I had promised her a man who’d love to treat ‘er
And I’ve never met a man I’d say was sweeter
He was gentle and would surely never beat ‘er
Though I knew that he could handle a repeater
Since I’d seen him fight to save a Senorita
Who was shouting she was tied up to a heater
But she wouldn’t let the bloody man defeat ‘er

That Spanish girl he said was Isabella
And her husband was the most unpleasant fella
Came home one night with bad news he would tell ‘er
To pay for booze decided he would sell ‘er
Was shocked to find that she became a yeller
A harridan a you-can-go-to-hell-er
Then Peter found he’d locked her in the cellar
And drew his gun to shoot the man’s patella
His chance to keep his misses wasn’t stellar

Now Peter has proposed to his Susanna
She’s sweeter on her man than any manna
And the banns have been proclaimed upon a banner
She’s put aside her special tuners spanner
Said Isabella be my wedding planner
The service will be read by Pollyanna
Who runs a wedding booth in old Savannah
So it can be attended by her Nanna
Who moved back there from home in Indiana!

Author notes
I have no idea why!!!