Pound for Glory!

Pound for Glory!
by cricketjeff on September 12, 2015.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
I fancy a beigel with salt-beef, no mustard
Or a bowl full of ice-cream, stewed apples and custard
The foods that I love can be found all around,
But DAMN-IT! I’ve put on a pound

   Each Wednesday we weigh-in to see who’s got thinner
   By cutting out biscuits and eating less dinner
   Then some weeks I look for a hole in the ground
   When DAMN-IT I’ve put on a pound!

I love to make chocolates with all sorts of filling
Then look for some eaters, most colleagues are willing
But though I don’t eat-em I’ve frequently found
That DAMN-IT! I’ve put on a pound

   We put up a chart with the weights we’ve recorded
   That tell of the foodstuffs our bodies have hoarded
   And when people read it just wait for the sound
   Of DAMN-IT! I’ve put on a pound

Then I’ll bake a cake with some quite fancy icing
For queues of my friends who’ll be “don’t ask me twice”-ing
Ignoring the truth that they’re all of them bound
For DAMN-IT! I’ve put on a pound

   I’ve written this ditty that’s chock full of eating
   Containing a warning that’s well worth repeating
   And stood on the scales you may find that I’ve frowned
   Just reading it’s added a pound!