Rented Rooms (revised)
by cricketjeff on July 17, 2012. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
To all persons of negotiable affections
Who ease the ache in lonely people’s lives,
To the shorers-up of insecure erections,
The substitutes for inattentive wives.
We all agree that love and lust together
Turn drudgery to Technicolor dreams
But sometimes we encounter stormy weather,
Then living isn’t everything it seems.
Perfection’s not in everybody’s future
And making-do’s the best that some will see.
A pretty girl can be an ideal suture
If life has only promised misery.
Some borrowed hope may clear the darkest sky,
When purchased love bids loneliness goodbye.
Wherever you may be and how you travel,
You can be sure that sitting near to you,
There’ll be a man who’s certain to unravel
Without a casual, carnal interview.
Through history there’s talk of traded pleasure,
Of love exchanged for gold, or food to eat,
Our brains and strength can win us hoards of treasure
But on their own they don’t make living sweet.
The girls who only married “for his money”,
And Queens who wed to “aid an ailing state”,
May think comparisons are rude or funny
But that’s because they’ve twisted the debate.
The gift that keeps the foolish from the wise,
Is knowing love is born of compromise.
So settle down with sweethearts you were born for,
Enjoy the fruits that nature sends your way,
When happy times are memories to mourn for
Remember there’s an answer, if you pay.
It’s not a sin to yearn for other chances,
To take the time to satisfy your heart,
Not every girl makes magic when she dances
Or has the skill to play the hardest part.
With eyes that seem to tell all fairy stories
And lips that taste of honey from the hive,
Go find a willing source of all life’s glories
And let her help you prove you’re still alive.
As Terry Pratchett’s seamstresses all know,
There’s more to life than learning how to sew.
Author notes
It isn’t smooth enough, and the discontinuities are too stark, but I’m finding
it rather hard to make words fit together at the moment — I think it’s a
little better now, but I’m leaving the first version up as a warning to myself.
For those who know little of Discworld and its largest city state, Ankh-
Morpork, (as described in Terry Pratchett’s fantasy novels) Seamstress is a
euphemism for a lady of the night.
English