Rustington-on-Sea
by cricketjeff on June 9, 2012. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
There’s a sexual revolution down in Rustington-on-Sea,
Where my Uncle Bill’s retiring on his way to purgatory.
In an “Old Folks’ Home” called Sunset where he’s settled for a while;
Spreading hope amongst the ladies who remember how to smile.
He gives thanks to little blue pills that he swallows with his tea,
Before heading off to Mabel, then back home to see Marie.
After years of good behaviour says at last he’s seen the light —
Who needs days of vegetating when there’s ladies and the night.
In the Littlehampton Funfair they ride dodgems everyday,
Then go off to find a beach-hut for some other sorts of play …
Or take bus-rides into Worthing, local journeys are all free,
For the boys and girls of “Sunset” down in Rustington on sea.
You’ll hear giggles from the boathouse, should be empty after dark,
But I don’t think Bill is boating by the lake in Mewsbrook Park;
And I’ve heard some happy noises from the little groundsman’s hut,
Where they keep the ride-on mower for the local pitch and putt.
On some days they head out walking on the lovely Sussex Downs
And I don’t see them returning wearing worthy laced up frowns,
So if you start getting older don’t descend to misery,
Just remember how they do it down in Rustington-on-Sea!
Author notes
I was listening to “Memphis”, you know the one “Long-distance information, get
me Memphis Tennessee …” and one of my inner voices borrowed the tune.
I don’t have an “Uncle Bill” but I do know a few candidates, the geography and
attractions of the Littlehampton/Rustington-on-Sea area are all real though
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English