The Daily Papers
by cricketjeff on May 18, 2017. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
While visiting the smallest room one thing is on your mind,
And there’s a crumb of comfort that you really hope to find.
Sliced bread they say defines our age the best thing that we’ve done
But there’s another modern boon that I would say’s THE one.
Inventors toiled for ever to produce our modern World
But progress really started when this product was unfurled!
If you’ve been busy sitting and you find there’s nothing there
Before you sing this silly song I’m sure you’ll have a swear!
“For therapeutic papers I would sell my kids and wife
For therapeutic papers I would face the direst strife
For therapeutic papers I would give you all I own
But I’m stuck in this tiny room alone”
We used to use a catalogue and read before each use
(But Rabelais’s Gargantua preferred a living goose)
And then some clever fellow thought of paper on a roll,
With perforations making sheets he hung it by the bowl
Our daily chores were eased at once and life was filled with joy
Technology provided bliss all people can employ
Until the day you settled down to ease internal woes
And found there’s nothing there to wipe your arse or blow your nose!
“For therapeutic papers I would sell my kids and wife
For therapeutic papers I would face the direst strife
For therapeutic papers I would give you all I own
But I’m stuck in this tiny room alone”
English