The megalomaniac cactus
by cricketjeff on September 13, 2011. © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
The megalomaniac cactus on our landing window sill
Is planning another invasion of the house to hone his skill
His spines are as sharp as needles and he’s millions left to shed
The megalomaniac cactus wants all other lifeforms dead
The megalomaniac cactus likes attacking late at night
He leaps in front of strangers just to see them quake in fright
He’s never good with children or with adults by the way
The megalomaniac cactus hates all others every day
The megalomaniac cactus wasn’t always hard and mean
The sweetest little prickler that you ever could have seen
He grew inside a tiny pot and lived beside the stairs
The innocent little cactus didn’t practice fatal scares
The innocent little cactus soon began to bloom and grow
With shiny spines and flowers he could put on such a show
But once he’d started growing he just grew and grew and grew
The megalomaniac cactus is now half as tall as you
The megalomaniac cactus has been growing hate for years
Investing all his efforts into spreading morbid fears
You may now sneer and mutter that “it’s all inside my head”
But you don’t have to pass him as you head upstairs to bed!
Author notes
And some people claim I’m weird!
English