by cricketjeff on June 3, 2009.  © Jeff Green, All rights reserved
I’ve just noticed that my underpants say “keep away from flame”
I suspect that that is guidance that I’ll heed
Putting daft advice on items seems to be a modern game
Have you seen some clever tips you’ll never need?
They put sell by dates on sugar, which is never going to rot
And a warning on your coffee that they might have made it hot

I’ve a rucksack with a warning that brings tears into my eyes
If it’s swallowed see a doctor right away
A metre long and half that wide I’d think you’d win a prize
From a tabloid that is quite prepared to pay
Microwaves although they’re handy are designed for drying pets
If you’re daft enough to try it then I’ll send my deep regrets

Now perhaps we need a warning that a penknife may be sharp
That guns when used with bullets often kill
Should a husband get reminded that a Mum-in-law may carp
Feckless sons be disappointed in a will
Have we all become so stupid that we don’t expect to think
I’ve a warning to these people “You may drive us all to drink!!!”