My friend
\nby cricketjeff on September 2, 2007.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved
\nAttached to a man and designed for two tasks
\nThey’re each rather different, before anyone asks
\nWhen he’s full up, I must let out the pee
\nAnd when he thinks of a lady, I stand up to see<\/p>\n
Most of the time I’m kept warm in the dark
\nI don’t see the shops or the view in the park
\nIt’s a difficult life when the best thing you view
\nIs large white and porcelain, that’s right, a loo<\/p>\n
When I was much younger, the same age as he
\nThe rest of his body was envious of me
\nThough his fingers and tongue had some good games to play
\nIt was only my lot to go “all the way”<\/p>\n
But it has been far too long since life went as I planned
\nThese days my pleasures are taken in hand
\nBut later at night, when his dreams he can see
\nHis dream-self is glad he can still call on me!
\n Author notes
\nFor the purposes of this contest this would be #9 humo(u)r friendship.<\/p>\n
We not strictly another personality in my head, they were all too busy arguing
\nto get into a poem on their own, but definitely a different personality to
\nmine, and attached!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My friend by cricketjeff on September 2, 2007.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved Attached to a man and designed for two tasks They’re each rather different, before anyone asks When he’s full up, I must let out the pee And when he thinks of a lady, I stand up to see Most of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9728,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1858","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1858"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1858\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9650,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1858\/revisions\/9650"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9728"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}