Our language!
\nby cricketjeff on September 18, 2007.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved
\nI say chaps, that’s just not cricket!
\nWhen it comes to OUR language you’re on a sticky wicket”
\nEvery little tiny village, has got a city father
\nYou go overboard with endless praise, when we say “Yes, well rather”
\n“Have a nice day” is heard all round, from folks who mean it not
\nAnd if you don’t acknowledge it, you think that you’ll get shot
\nYou’ve added ten on every got, inventing the word gotten
\nIn nearly all the words you say, our language sounds quite rotten!
\nYou’ve put a K in schedule, you think it’s said like school
\nYou don’t like using up your “u”s, and you think zee’s the rule
\nYou run and fetch a flashlight when you clearly need a torch
\nAnd you sit and rock upon a thing, you think is called a porch
\nYou go into a restroom, when you really mean the loo
\nIf that is where you’re resting, I’m quite surprised at you!
\nA bag of chips are called french fries, a bag of crisps are chips
\nYou’ve never heard of irony, and miss out half our quips
\nYou all live in apartments, a posher word for flats
\nYou shop at stores and not in shops, and all wear cowboy hats
\nYour president’s war on tourists, has got us all in fits
\nBut we like your word for pimples, so now we all have zits
\nI hope you think this poem sounds as English as you’d like
\nBut if it’s not your cup of tea, tough luck, get on your bike!
\n Author notes
\nAny insults above are purely tongue in cheek and only for poetic effect \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Our language! by cricketjeff on September 18, 2007.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved I say chaps, that’s just not cricket! When it comes to OUR language you’re on a sticky wicket” Every little tiny village, has got a city father You go overboard with endless praise, when we say “Yes, well rather” “Have a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9732,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1912","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1912","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1912"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1912\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9596,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1912\/revisions\/9596"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9732"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}