On the phone to the bank
\nby cricketjeff on December 15, 2007.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved
\nOn the phone and I am waiting
\nAre you calling “Singles Dating”?
\nBloody Bank has me on hold
\nMetaphorically in the cold<\/p>\n
In the queue, position line
\nBet they’re on a phone sex line
\nI just want to check a bill
\nBut I’m sitting waiting still<\/p>\n
In the queue position seven
\nVivaldi’s glad that he’s in heaven
\nHe have to die, amongst the reasons
\nMurder of his “The four seasons”<\/p>\n
In the queue position five
\nMaybe they are still alive!
\nIn the streets of far Mumbai
\nCall centre staff just please reply!<\/p>\n
In the queue position four
\nIn physical terms I’m near the door
\nAll this is a waste of time
\nOn the phone and scrawling rhyme<\/p>\n
Position four, damn that’s not moved
\nAre all these “people” cloven hooved?
\nIt really isn’t much to ask
\nThat someone there could do this task<\/p>\n
In the queue position two!
\nBlimey there’s an end in view
\nIf I get to ask for aid
\nI wonder how much they are paid…<\/p>\n
‘s Bank apologise
\nThe fact you’ve called is a surprise
\nWe do not have the staff to cope
\nYou’ll hang yourself? Here use this rope!<\/p>\n
My names Melanie (lying tart!)
\nI’m here to help, where shall we start
\nI cannot tell if that’s been paid
\nThe screen are dead hear I’m afraid<\/p>\n
Now cut off and screaming mad
\nAre all banks this bloody bad?
\nNext time I won’t be so polite
\nI’ll firebomb a branch tonight!<\/p>\n
Author notes
\nTo be strictly honest this isn’t notebook poetry, I just wrote it as though it
\nwere.
\nNearly all my verse would fit your description though, it is very satisfying to
\nbe sitting on a crowded commuter train writing erotic rhymes!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
On the phone to the bank by cricketjeff on December 15, 2007.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved On the phone and I am waiting Are you calling “Singles Dating”? Bloody Bank has me on hold Metaphorically in the cold In the queue, position line Bet they’re on a phone sex line I just want […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9732,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2161","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2161","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2161"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2161\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9347,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2161\/revisions\/9347"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9732"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}