The truth about men (And women!!!)
\nby cricketjeff on April 11, 2008.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved
\nIt’s seven in the morning and the room is looking bare
\nMy head is busy thumping and there’s something in the air
\nYou left me with a warning and I know I should prepare
\nBut I really don’t know how I got this way<\/p>\n
I haven’t any eyebrows, and there’s somewhere else I itch
\nI’d like to face the morning but I haven’t got a stitch
\nA label round my neck just says “Congratulations Mitch”
\nThis isn’t how I planned my wedding day<\/p>\n
Four empty vodka bottles and the slippers that she wore
\nThe men at work had paid her and I’m feeling rather sore
\nI tried to do thinks properly but she just wanted more
\nAnd it seemed that I just didn’t have a say<\/p>\n
I’d try to ring for service but my hands are rather tied
\nI would run to find a taxi but I’d really rather hide
\nI mustn’t miss the wedding or you’ll see that I get fried
\nIs this really quite the way for friends to play<\/p>\n
A crash, the door flies open, and the best man wears a grin
\nHis camera busy flashing as he takes my status in
\nPretends he doesn’t notice where the vodka bottle’s in
\nI hope that he has come to save the day<\/p>\n
I still have on pink slippers (they have glued them to my feet)
\nBut the rest of the conversion, on the outside, looks complete
\nI wonder what the tattoo says that’s now upon my seat
\nI know that you will read it late today<\/p>\n
Make-up does for eyebrows and John’s shoes are big enough
\nCutting off the plaster cast was really rather tough
\nThe summer shave for bathing’s left me feeling very rough
\nBut at least I made the church this wedding day<\/p>\n
And now the deed is over and we both said “yes I do”
\nWe’re alone in motel bedroom and I’m scared to talk to you
\nBut you giggle and you show me you got shaved and tattooed too!
\nIt isn’t only men who act this way!!!
\n Author notes
\nprobably too long<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The truth about men (And women!!!) by cricketjeff on April 11, 2008.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved It’s seven in the morning and the room is looking bare My head is busy thumping and there’s something in the air You left me with a warning and I know I should prepare But I really […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9742,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2626","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2626"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8881,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2626\/revisions\/8881"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9742"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}