Bathroom Mishap
\nby cricketjeff on May 13, 2009.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved
\nShe wasn’t really thinking as she lay there in the bath;
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Her toes were happy playing with the taps,
\nAnd now she had to contemplate the dreadful aftermath,
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 No chance to keep the problem under wraps.
\nShe couldn’t reach her mobile phone, she had to lie and shout –
\nHer largest toe was truly stuck she couldn’t get it out.<\/p>\n
The man next door had heard the fuss and came to lend his aid,
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 But she could not get out to let him in.
\nThe doors were tightly locked downstairs, this very cautious maid
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Did not give any crooks the chance to win.
\nHer saviour’s\u00a0 found a ladder and he’s climbing up to see
\nIf he can find a way to set the lady’s tootsies free.<\/p>\n
A face appears outside the pane, the larger window’s locked;
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Of course the key is safely out of reach.
\nThe face pops through the skylight so his view is now unblocked,
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 And suddenly he’s lost the power of speech.
\nPerhaps I didn’t mention that the water’s run away
\nAnd round about the tub are all the games she likes to play.<\/p>\n
He’s gone to fetch the fire brigade so they can free the toe,
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 And let our heroine get off to bed,
\nAnd while he waits he’s brought his mates so they can see the show,
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 She’s blue with cold but quickly turning red.
\nThe fourth or maybe fifth has peeked before the siren sounds
\nAnd six or seven rescue men are entering the grounds.<\/p>\n
It only takes an hour or two to get the door unlocked,
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 And all that time the firemen climb to see.
\nWith her display of naked flesh you’d think they would be shocked
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 But that is not how things appear to me.
\nHer “Mighty Dong” is on the floor, a smaller toy beside,
\nThere’s nothing much that she can reach that helps the lady hide.<\/p>\n
At last they’re in! Her rescuers are massaging her feet
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 But they can’t get her pretty toes unstuck,
\nThey’ve called another crew to make embarrassment complete
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 (I think these men believe that they’re in luck).
\nSo now they’ve fetched a plumber who arrives with other tools,
\nThe neighbour and the rescuers stand round like grinning fools.<\/p>\n
A sudden POP and she is free she stands up in relief –
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 The firemen and the neighbours give a cheer.
\nShe’s given up embarrassment and looks round at the “beef”
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 The ending to my tale’s becoming clear.
\nThe next-time that she takes a bath, and just for safety’s sake,
\nShe telephones the fire brigade “I’d like to bathe with Jake”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bathroom Mishap by cricketjeff on May 13, 2009.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved She wasn’t really thinking as she lay there in the bath; \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Her toes were happy playing with the taps, And now she had to contemplate the dreadful aftermath, \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 No chance to keep the problem under […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9694,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-3842","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3842","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3842"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3842\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7668,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3842\/revisions\/7668"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}