The Perfect Girl!
\nby cricketjeff on July 21, 2009.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved
\nI met her at a picnic and I wouldn’t let her go
\nShe wasn’t very pretty and her speech was rather slow
\nWith almost all her attributes I bet you’d find a fault
\nBut no-ones belly button held a better dose of salt<\/p>\n
See, celery is just my thing I love the angry crunch
\nAnd I would always have a stick at breakfast or at lunch
\nBut celery needs salt you see and round here there’s a rule
\nYou get your salt from navels or you feel a proper fool<\/p>\n
So I have found my perfect girl, although she’s rather plain
\nHer belly button basin has relieved my dreadful strain
\nI’ll marry her and keep her as a cellar and a wife
\nSo I can salt my celery at each meal of my life!!!<\/p>\n
Author notes
\n‘You use belly buttons to keep salt in when you eat celery’ Unknown<\/p>\n
Actually I never put salt on celery …<\/p>\n
Table manners around the world are ODD!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Perfect Girl! by cricketjeff on July 21, 2009.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved I met her at a picnic and I wouldn’t let her go She wasn’t very pretty and her speech was rather slow With almost all her attributes I bet you’d find a fault But no-ones belly button held a better […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9742,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-4012","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4012"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7495,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4012\/revisions\/7495"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9742"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}