{"id":4955,"date":"2023-11-26T20:26:03","date_gmt":"2023-11-26T20:26:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=4955"},"modified":"2023-11-28T23:04:46","modified_gmt":"2023-11-28T23:04:46","slug":"the-hedge-fund","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/the-poems\/the-hedge-fund\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hedge Fund"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> The Hedge Fund<br \/>\nby cricketjeff on February 15, 2011.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved<\/p>\n<p>I used to know a topiarist<br \/>\nWho rarely made a friend<br \/>\nHe used his art form to assist<br \/>\nHis mission to offend<br \/>\nExpressing every point of view<br \/>\nIn neatly tonsured blocks of yew<\/p>\n<p>He pruned a bush beside a park<br \/>\nTo form a human hand<br \/>\nAnd even in the deepest dark<br \/>\nYou&#8217;d clearly understand<br \/>\nA finger for a swivel, where<br \/>\nMost folk would sit with utmost care.<\/p>\n<p>A pair of breasts had pointed tips<br \/>\nStrategically placed<br \/>\nAnd what he snipped between two lips<br \/>\nWas rather far from chaste<br \/>\nIn fact some thought his attitude<br \/>\nWas frankly bordering on rude!<\/p>\n<p>His neighbours therefore weren&#8217;t amazed<br \/>\nTo see his latest piece<br \/>\nAlthough his taste was rarely praised<br \/>\nIt offered light relief<br \/>\nA bending figure on the grass<br \/>\nWith naked well divided arse!<br \/>\n Author notes<br \/>\nYou can see the image here https:\/\/ap-pics2.gotpoem.com\/ap-pics\/item\/7219\/<br \/>\n142.jpg?1611664606<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Hedge Fund by cricketjeff on February 15, 2011.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved I used to know a topiarist Who rarely made a friend He used his art form to assist His mission to offend Expressing every point of view In neatly tonsured blocks of yew He pruned a bush beside a park [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9742,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-4955","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4955","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4955"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4955\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6554,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4955\/revisions\/6554"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9742"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4955"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}