{"id":5206,"date":"2023-11-26T20:26:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-26T20:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=5206"},"modified":"2023-11-28T23:04:47","modified_gmt":"2023-11-28T23:04:47","slug":"the-megalomaniac-cactus","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/the-poems\/the-megalomaniac-cactus\/","title":{"rendered":"The megalomaniac cactus"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> The megalomaniac cactus<br \/>\nby cricketjeff on September 13, 2011.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved<br \/>\nThe megalomaniac cactus on our landing window sill<br \/>\nIs planning another invasion of the house to hone his skill<br \/>\nHis spines are as sharp as needles and he&#8217;s millions left to shed<br \/>\nThe megalomaniac cactus wants all other lifeforms dead<\/p>\n<p>The megalomaniac cactus likes attacking late at night<br \/>\nHe leaps in front of strangers just to see them quake in fright<br \/>\nHe&#8217;s never good with children or with adults by the way<br \/>\nThe megalomaniac cactus hates all others every day<\/p>\n<p>The megalomaniac cactus wasn&#8217;t always hard and mean<br \/>\nThe sweetest little prickler that you ever could have seen<br \/>\nHe grew inside a tiny pot and lived beside the stairs<br \/>\nThe innocent little cactus didn&#8217;t practice fatal scares<\/p>\n<p>The innocent little cactus soon began to bloom and grow<br \/>\nWith shiny spines and flowers he could put on such a show<br \/>\nBut once he&#8217;d started growing he just grew and grew and grew<br \/>\nThe megalomaniac cactus is now half as tall as you<\/p>\n<p>The megalomaniac cactus has been growing hate for years<br \/>\nInvesting all his efforts into spreading morbid fears<br \/>\nYou may now sneer and mutter that &#8220;it&#8217;s all inside my head&#8221;<br \/>\nBut you don&#8217;t have to pass him as you head upstairs to bed!<\/p>\n<p> Author notes<br \/>\nAnd some people claim I&#8217;m weird!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The megalomaniac cactus by cricketjeff on September 13, 2011.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved The megalomaniac cactus on our landing window sill Is planning another invasion of the house to hone his skill His spines are as sharp as needles and he&#8217;s millions left to shed The megalomaniac cactus wants all other lifeforms dead [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9742,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-5206","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5206"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6301,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5206\/revisions\/6301"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9742"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}