{"id":5294,"date":"2023-11-26T20:25:58","date_gmt":"2023-11-26T20:25:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=5294"},"modified":"2023-11-27T22:42:57","modified_gmt":"2023-11-27T22:42:57","slug":"an-unexpected-outcome","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/a-poems\/an-unexpected-outcome\/","title":{"rendered":"An Unexpected Outcome"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> An Unexpected Outcome<br \/>\nby cricketjeff on January 23, 2012.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved<br \/>\nA misguided middle-aged man<br \/>\nConceived of a ludicrous plan<br \/>\nHe&#8217;d go undercover<br \/>\nAs England&#8217;s great lover<br \/>\nThe girls called him Desperate Dan<\/p>\n<p>A toupee is seen at its best<br \/>\nWhen merging with all of the rest<br \/>\nBut Dan&#8217;s was an old one<br \/>\nA rich reddish gold one<br \/>\nHis hair was as grey as his vest<\/p>\n<p>To set any girl&#8217;s heart a flutter<br \/>\nYour voice must be smoother than butter<br \/>\nNot peppered with swear words<br \/>\nAnd from-who-knows-where words<br \/>\nCombined with a harsh nervous stutter<\/p>\n<p>Some lovers are tall dark and toned<br \/>\nTheir faces are handsomely boned<br \/>\nBut Dan&#8217;s short and rounded<br \/>\nHis rear-end unbounded<br \/>\nAll thoughts of a waistline disowned<\/p>\n<p>Still Nel needed someone to mother<br \/>\nOnce she&#8217;d married off her last brother<br \/>\nWhen Dan tried to woo her<br \/>\nShe reckoned he&#8217;d do her<br \/>\nAnd they&#8217;re now wrapped up in each other<\/p>\n<p>Though neither had featured in dreams<br \/>\nTrue love is as good as it seems<br \/>\nWhen they turned the lights out<br \/>\nTheir neighbours on nights out<br \/>\nWere deafened by ecstatic screams!<\/p>\n<p> Author notes<br \/>\nWell &#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The Nels and Dans of this world deserve happy endings!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An Unexpected Outcome by cricketjeff on January 23, 2012.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved A misguided middle-aged man Conceived of a ludicrous plan He&#8217;d go undercover As England&#8217;s great lover The girls called him Desperate Dan A toupee is seen at its best When merging with all of the rest But Dan&#8217;s was an [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9692,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-5294","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5294"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5294\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6215,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5294\/revisions\/6215"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9692"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}