Horses Sweat, Men Perspire, But Ladies Only Glow
\nby cricketjeff on March 20, 2017.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved
\nOne problem with rainbows is BOY do they stink,
\nOf the twelve week old cabbage that’s used for their ink.
\nA unicorn laughing’s a sound rather like
\nA holey exhaust on a large motor bike
\nAnd as for that glitter, though it’s rare I’ll admit,
\nIt is sometimes dark brown and exactly like shit.<\/p>\n
I once knew some ladies, not all from this land
\nWho harnessed their trumps in a strange marching band.
\nThey looked quite impressive, as they played their skirts flared,
\nWhile Sousa’s best music was raucously aired.
\nSo yes I’ll admit this, that women don’t fart
\nBut when they “don’t” blast it’s a shot through the heart.<\/p>\n
The toots of some women ain’t gentle and sweet
\nThey’re chemical weapons to knock men off their feet!<\/p>\n
Author notes
\nWritten for this picture, https:\/\/scontent.cdninstagram.com\/hphotos-xaf1\/
\nt51.2885-15\/e15\/11326401_1598810583740835_1004979564_n.jpg which bears the
\ncaption “Women don’t fart, they do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter that
\nsound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Horses Sweat, Men Perspire, But Ladies Only Glow by cricketjeff on March 20, 2017.\u00a0 \u00a9 Jeff Green, All rights reserved One problem with rainbows is BOY do they stink, Of the twelve week old cabbage that’s used for their ink. A unicorn laughing’s a sound rather like A holey exhaust on a large motor bike […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9706,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-5590","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5590"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5590\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5918,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5590\/revisions\/5918"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicewaistcoat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}